Joseph and Home

I have been thinking about the concept of "home" lately. I feel like I have lost mine within the past two years; at least I've lost many of the personalities that come together to create the feeling of "home" as I associate it with my childhood. My grandmother died in November of 2007, the cat I grew up with (and I've always had a very close connection with these animals) died this November. My dad died so, so suddenly this summer (and he of course is the BIGGEST aspect of this concept of home I have; his influence in my life has been even greater than my mother's), and then less than a month later Mom and I had to have the dog put down (and we were all very close with this dog). So here I am, feeling thrust into adulthood and questioning what my concept of home is now.

I think about "home" especially in connection with the Joseph and his brothers story. I feel in general that I am missing a personal connection (some level of empathy perhaps?) with the characters of the Bible (lacuna???!!). Homer captures the essence of his characters in so much depth: they are well developed, round, juicy characters. They anger, they weep (always they weep). There is violence, love, and all of it is described in so much detail, it comes alive in my imagination. So why do I not (yet?) connect with the Bible on this same lever? Why do I feel that I am always missing something (well, perhaps because I actually am)? Imagination is a wonderful thing that children posses and should never let slip away. I find myself missing the imagination I had as a child, and now I have begun to find some aspects of that imagination again. So where is my imagination as I read the Bible?

Back to what I set off to talk about. Home. I visited "home" this last weekend. And I found that it no longer contained much of the essence of home. I began to wonder about what Joseph felt about his home, and how it was so cruelly ripped away from him. What kind of home did he come from that his brothers could have the emotional vacancy to sell their brother because of jealousy? Of course, there is no story if they are unable to sell Joseph because of moral code or some form of love for their brother. But how is it that Israel can love Joseph so much and his brothers can love him not at all? How did Joseph's absence affect the feeling of "home" for his brothers and for his parents?

How did Joseph re-create "home" and how did that change and shift for him? Joseph loves. He loves his God, he loves his brothers and his family--unconditionally. His entire youth has been ripped from him by these men, and yet he can forgive them. I will return to this subject.

There is something so beautiful about the response of characters when called by God or their father: "Here I am". I am not sure why this simple phrase strikes me so, but it does. There is so much conveyed by that response. When Joseph answers to his father Israel in this way, I think of a young boy who will do whatever his father asks of him without protest or question. The same is true when Abraham is called by Yahweh to sacrifice his (stressed: "Take your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love...") son. He is humbly the servant. And at the same time that I find beauty, I am also bothered by these characters serving so readily. Does Abraham not think for himself? Does he not grieve tremendously to discover that not only must his son die, but that he is to die by Abraham's hand? Why do we not see any of the emotional reaction from either father or son?